The bags are packed, the apartment is clean and it's time to leave this fine country that many scholars consider to be Japan. And I'd like to think I left it a little better than when I found it.
If in doubt, please refer to Xzhibit J
You see, Americo-Japanese relations were severely strained in 19"ought"41. You could almost say they were at an all time low.
But, that was then and this is now. Today, we're all about the healing.
Dr. Phil insists time doesn't heal wounds; according to his unique Midwest corn-fed wisdom, communication and trust are the most important relationship-building factors.
This is where I come in.
As an envoy of the Greater American "Funpire", I've been entrusted with rekindling our Pacific-gapped friendship, by any means necessary. Via diplomatic string-pulling, late night meetings, negotiation sessions, in-depth research, a host of other exhausting endeavours, and I might say no little danger to my person, I believe that I've completed my mission.
Our two nations may still need time: the U.S. is legendarily slow about texting and Japan isn't big on Sunday-morning cuddles, but I think we've all learned something here today. I think we're all a little closer to mending our differences, and I'd like to think I played my part.
Just look at the above picture. I'm on top of it.
Trust me.
2 comments:
Man, I can't believe you're already "outtie," as they say. I hope you taught the Yakuza interesting American phrases like that, as well as all of our truncated slang: def, prob, Ameri and the like.
Looking forward to seeing you in just about a week now. Holla to the Philly reunion.
don't tell me what to do
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